All right, lovelies, I'm sad it's necessary to spell this out in so much detail, but here's how this works:
You provide me a copy of your novel, novella, short story, etc. in exchange for my honest opinion. (I no longer offer private critiques in lieu of a review.) I'll read your book and post my public review. However, I reserve the right to DNF (not finish) a book. If that's the case, and it occurs before I reach the 50% mark, I'll get in touch with you rather than post a review.
What you're getting from me is an HONEST assessment of your work! Whether I love it, hate it, or am indifferent about it, I can't be bribed, threatened, bullied, or otherwise induced to alter said opinion/review--though chocolate, wine, or cookies are always appreciated. :)
Whew! Now that we have that out of the way, I am glad to accept books for review! I'm also available for tours and takeovers as well!
As of June 23, 2017, all manuscripts must be edited prior to submission. *
WHAT BOOK FORMATS DO YOU ACCEPT?
I’m currently accepting audiobooks and ebooks. No hard copies, please, and ask me about PDF's first.
WHAT GENRES WILL YOU REVIEW?
CHECK THIS LIST BEFORE SENDING YOUR REQUEST!
Things I love:
Romance WITH THE FOLLOWING EXCEPTIONS:
Contemporary Romance (for me, that's anything post-World War II)
ANYTHING with incest, (I don't care if it's cousins, daddy/daughter, siblings--if they're related by blood and fucking, I will not read it. Also, no step-anythings.)
Anything with minors in sexual situations
If there is non-con or dub-con, please give me a heads up.
Fairy tales, myths, and their creative retellings
Horror (no detailed or gratuitous gore, please)
Mystery and detective stories (though I tend to shy away from procedurals)
Some memoirs/biographies (feel free to check with me)
Self-help and self-improvement
Things I don't love:
Incest (as stated above)
Pedophilia (as stated above)
Surprise dubious/non consent (I don't have a problem with dub/noncon, per say, just give me a heads up)
Military-themed stories (I'm married to a Marine, so I've got a first-hand view on military life. :) )
If you've written something I don't have listed here, feel free to shoot me an email with a synopsis and I'll be happy to consider it!
HOW DOES YOUR RATING SYSTEM WORK?
I rate books on the standard 1-5 star scale, based on the characters, story, cover, etc. Everything I liked or disliked in the book will affect the overall rating.
5 STARS: I LOVE this book. Complex characters, a beautiful, well-developed world, intriguing plot. This will probably go on my list of rereads.
4 STARS: This book is pretty good. A delightful read with some great characters and a developed plot. I might have found some typos, but not enough to detract from the experience.
3 STARS: This book is OK. Didn't love it, didn't hate it. There may be enough typographical/grammatical errors to be distracting, the plot is underdeveloped, or the characters are one-dimensional. Expect a balance of positives and negatives to appear in this review. I do not consider a 3-star rating to be 'negative'.
2 STARS: This one needs work and probably commited enough Word Crimes to put me off. It was a struggle to finish. Mary Sue, tepid settings, or a flat/weak plot may inhabit this book.
1 STAR: There is a strong possibility that I didn't finish this book, though whenever possible, I will read at least 50% so that I can provide thorough feedback. This review will be written in the style of a constructive critique.
Or if you prefer a video demonstration of some things that'll probably get you a low star rating...
WHERE DO YOU POST YOUR REVIEWS?
Reviews will be posted on my blog "Notes From 'Round the Bend", Goodreads, and Audible (where applicable).
What about Amazon?
I will post on Amazon, however I can't guarantee the review will be allowed to stay up.**
**As of October 3, 2016, Amazon no longer allows incentivized reviews. This means that unless the reviewer has purchased the book through Amazon, their reviews may be removed and their account may be flagged. If you would like my review posted on Amazon, you must provide a gift card or gift code so I can purchase a copy. Otherwise, reviews will be posted on "Notes From 'Round the Bend" and Goodreads.
*Please note that due to the high volume of review requests I receive, I no longer have the time to spend on work that has not been thoroughly edited. Does this mean you need to spend hundreds on a 'professional'? Not necessarily, but remember that you get what you pay for! All I ask is that you have someone else look it over for spelling, grammar, and punctuation (at the very least). This benefits us both: I get to read without constantly stopping to make editorial notes and you get a review that's focused on your wonderful story!
To request a review, please fill out the form below.
This should go without saying, but I've discovered I have to say it: any requests submitted NOT using this form will most likely be ignored. I love you guys and I'm glattered you want me to review your work, but I'm getting too many requests to have to track you down again and get all the info you didn't provide because you didn't use the form.
Having trouble with the form? Have questions? Drop me a line!